Reprinted from patchesofheaven.blogspot.com
I came across a quote attributed to Kirk Douglas yesterday, and it got me
thinking:
"Life is like a B-picture script! It is that corny.
If I had my life story offered to
me to film, I'd turn it down"
While just a tad negative really, in some ways I think Kirk is dead on. I can't even tell you the amount of times that my (granted, overly dramatic) mind has thought "this is like something straight out of a movie".... and yes, I'm fairly certain it would be a B grade movie.
I mean, there was the time I half fell down a man
hole at 11 o'clock at night in a torrential rainstorm in a dodgy part of town
(horror movie, obviously... if my sister hadn't been laughing so hard on the
other end of the mobile phone). There was the time just after September 11th
when they shut down an entire terminal in the LAX airport and I was held
(literally, by-the-shoulders held) by two armed army guys because they thought
they'd found every type of explosive they test for in my suitcase (action movie?
... ).
There was the time I fell madly in love only to
have my heart broken, but then when you flash forward to the last scene with a
'five years later' title, you'd find I'm doing just fine. That one would be
your coming of age story. There was the night a bat flew into our house and a
friend and I spent about 2 hours cowering behind doors and randomly waving our
arms around before it finally flew out again, all on it's own (nature
documentary?)
There were the college years and all those
hilarious (if you have a teenage sense of humour) antics. There was the crazy
family experiences that have settled into treasured family folklore (make way
for the kooky ensemble cast). There are the many many times I've gotten lost
only to find the page of the map I needed was missing, or the iphone had run out
of battery (travel program / black comedy?).
The list could go on, and I suspect you've got
your very own list of moments in your life when you've seriously started looking
for the camera crew you know must be hiding around here
somewhere!
And in the end, I suspect Kirk's kind of right. In
reality each of these experiences would probably only make B grade movies. The
script hasn't always been spot on, and we don't always come up with the best
dialogue. The story arcs are often a little unbalanced - too much time spent in
the exposition I would think. Colin Firth has yet to make an appearance in a
single scene. My trips to the grocery store almost never
happen against a Paris backdrop. Full orchestral musical
scores would definitely add a little something something. The explosions are
never big enough....
But I do think there's something that redeems this
little life-movie of mine....
My acting tends to be superb.
xo tammy