So I'm 27. The birthday came and went, and I'm pleased to say that there's little evidence of extra wrinkles or grey hairs. For all my sincere and passionate whining and winging though, I sort of figured that once the day actually passed I'd feel pretty much the same as I had the day before, and just keep moving forward.
But despite the fact that it turned out to be a really lovely day in the end (I always remember how much I actually love birthdays when I suddenly find myself sitting there with the first present on my lap), I still can't actually shake the niggling in the back of my mind that things really AREN'T the same. I'm older. Which is less scary to me in a 'I'm closer to death' way than it is in a 'have I accomplished the things I was supposed to by this point?' way.
And honestly, I don't think I have. I've done a couple of good 'things to be proud of' in the last year or two, but mostly, I've just let time pass. And now that I'm 27, the reality of 'wasted time' is really bothering me. I just don't want to get to 28 feeling the same way!
So, though it's not really 'new years day' until January, I'm feeling quite the 'set goals, quick!' surge! I've been ironing some specific goals out in my head over the last few days, and I think I'm ready to start working towards them. I just can't bear the thought of getting to my next birthday, knowing that I didn't have an 'accomplished and worthwhile' year. I want to be excited to turn 28, and I think the key to that will be to be excited about the year I've just had. So I've got some spiritual goals, some physical goals, some financial goals, some social goals, and some life-experience goals.
I'm a little nervous - I've been less successful with the goal conquering thing over the last few years, but I figure it's imperative to try. I'll definitely need Heavenly Father's help and I'm 100% confident that he'll come through - It's really just my ability to deliver that terrifies me! But that fear's what's kept me from actually 'setting' goals for the last few years, which in turn, has kept me from 'conquering' any over the last few years, and that just makes me miserable! So with a little nudge from President Uchtdorf's wonderfully inspired conference talks, and from the reminder that time marches on, I figure it's time to give me another chance.
Wish me luck, and say a prayer for me - I'm going to need some strength and encouragement beyond my own.
xo Tammy
