Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hip, Hip, Horray

So I'm 27. The birthday came and went, and I'm pleased to say that there's little evidence of extra wrinkles or grey hairs. For all my sincere and passionate whining and winging though, I sort of figured that once the day actually passed I'd feel pretty much the same as I had the day before, and just keep moving forward.

But despite the fact that it turned out to be a really lovely day in the end (I always remember how much I actually love birthdays when I suddenly find myself sitting there with the first present on my lap), I still can't actually shake the niggling in the back of my mind that things really AREN'T the same. I'm older. Which is less scary to me in a 'I'm closer to death' way than it is in a 'have I accomplished the things I was supposed to by this point?' way.

And honestly, I don't think I have. I've done a couple of good 'things to be proud of' in the last year or two, but mostly, I've just let time pass. And now that I'm 27, the reality of 'wasted time' is really bothering me. I just don't want to get to 28 feeling the same way!

So, though it's not really 'new years day' until January, I'm feeling quite the 'set goals, quick!' surge! I've been ironing some specific goals out in my head over the last few days, and I think I'm ready to start working towards them. I just can't bear the thought of getting to my next birthday, knowing that I didn't have an 'accomplished and worthwhile' year. I want to be excited to turn 28, and I think the key to that will be to be excited about the year I've just had. So I've got some spiritual goals, some physical goals, some financial goals, some social goals, and some life-experience goals.

I'm a little nervous - I've been less successful with the goal conquering thing over the last few years, but I figure it's imperative to try. I'll definitely need Heavenly Father's help and I'm 100% confident that he'll come through - It's really just my ability to deliver that terrifies me! But that fear's what's kept me from actually 'setting' goals for the last few years, which in turn, has kept me from 'conquering' any over the last few years, and that just makes me miserable! So with a little nudge from President Uchtdorf's wonderfully inspired conference talks, and from the reminder that time marches on, I figure it's time to give me another chance.

Wish me luck, and say a prayer for me - I'm going to need some strength and encouragement beyond my own.

xo Tammy


Sara said...

yay! Tammy's back! I've been waiting for an update from you for forever! :)

Good for you on the goals. You're right. It's awful to have a birthday come and realize that you're not doing the things you could be.

breckster said...

Happy birthday, now that you admitted that you had one. :)

I'm wishing you luck, and we pray for you often in our house. I look forward to hearing (and maybe seeing) some of your completed goals.

Gayle said...

You made me think about goals. Do you think it's easier to reach goals or to have your hopes and dreams come through? Or are they connected and dependent on each other? I know sometimes I feel like I have really important and righteous hopes (usually for my kids)and pray and pray and pray about them, I get so frustrated because I'm helpless to do anything to make them happen.

emilysuze said...

Make one of your awesome goal charts. You are always so good at making charts to help you reach your goals. Good luck with the things you want to achieve this year. I know you'll make yourself the best you possible! :)

Love you heaps!

Jennsie said...

Madam, I think it's my turn to bug you about posting a new blog. It's been over a month now and you haven't written anything.
I miss my Tammy entries, write!
How are you? We need to catch up.

James and Abby said...

Are you still alive??!!!
(I know you are, because I just spoke to you, but I'd love to read about you!!!)
I love you!!