Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The death of an ex-friend...

Fritz-Errol-Wilson has turned out to be a real lemon.

*sigh*

It's terribly tragic, and the 86 year old car mechanic genius from up the road who looked at it today, began his subsequent conversation with me "I don't usually slap girls, but with you I think I'll make an exception", because the thing is running so badly, no one should be driving it! I mean, I sensed it had some issues, but apparently the car was out of oil because it had exploded all over the engine (or something like that - obviously, I had no idea what he was talking about, although I do remember the part where he said "your car's engine has been on fire, at least twice, the burn marks are there under the bonnet!"). The air conditioning unit is broken and is leaking a river of some sort of liquid that has pooled in the carpet on the passenger's side of the car - water is actually seeping up through the carpet and sloshing around. The transmission is shot. The speakers have blown , the sun visor above the drivers side fell off the other day, and last week, the door handle on the drivers side broke, so I can't get in very well and have had to resort to climbing in through the passengers side a few times. (Obviously, that doesn't bode well for the fire that may start again in the engine at any time - I'll probably die because I can't get out the door and away from the flames!). I'm also in need of new tires... apparently!

Anyway, I'm disheartened. And I've started hating Fritz-Errol-Wilson. He's a money sucker! and He's ruining my life! Apparently, I need to buy a new car, and no one will want this one because it's got serious problems.

I tell you what, next time, I'm getting a girl car! With a name like Fritz Errol Wilson, is it any wonder he's insisting on going down in such a "general's last great battle" kind of a way?!

xo Tammy

8 comments:

Sandy M. said...

I like lemons! :)

I'm sorry about your car. Isn't (86 year old) Col lovely though? He's been working on cars for 70 years! And he still seems to get passionate about every one he works on. I really admire his work ethic. If I'm still even alive at the age of 86, I would love to still be as useful and enthusiastic as he is! And unsinkable: a car he was working on last week ran over him. He was on crutches from that when he rang to say you could bring your car down. He makes me smile!
xx

Jessica said...

You'd think with such an awesome name, it would show a little more appreciation...

emilysuze said...

You'd think a car with such sporty dolphins on the sides would have been a little more...well...sporty. :)

I'm hoping you have no more fires under the bonnet until your door is at least fixed so that you can escape quickly if need be!

GAYLE said...

Wow, I don't read my blogs for a few days and then open yours and there are FOUR new ones! Am I to assume that you finished Bones?

Bethany said...

I'd hate to say I told you so....but I'd also love it a whole lot more than I'd hate it... so...I TOLD YOU SO!
what did i say?? yes, i believe it was along the lines of 'tammy, you should name your car BETHANY!'
now see, lovely 86yr old Col up the street LOVES me! Whenever he finds out its me he's speaking to on the phone his tone turns soft, you can hear the smile in his voice, and he asks me how 'the lovely young lady is doing today' :D
now im not tryin to rub in the fact that he loves me and wants to start slapping you, but i would like to take a moment to point out that if indeed your car had been named Bethany (as per my suggestion), Col would have like it a heck of a lot better and you wouldn't be feeling the need to be on a constant watch for his sneaky side swing!!

I rest my case :)

Sister Abby said...

Tammy stop driving it, seriously! I taught you how to catch public transport, so be reasonable! It's only 2 buses and a ferry, it could be a lot worse!!! :)

I would offer to lend you our car but it's busy.

Ask James to locate a car for you again - he's got a little bit of free time this week and next...

Catch the bus..!

xo

breckster said...

Remember when my car tried to KILL me when I was pregnant with Reuben? My advice is DUMP HIM! Before he completely turns on you and tries to kill you... they are capable of it, I know!

ndmunro said...

I think the spirit of the possum you killed the other night has entered your car and is after you. I would try exorcism before you drive it again.